✨Quarter-Life-Crisis✨ Tips
How to find your direction, the weirdness of your twenties & weekly R.E.P.O.R.T
Good morning to you gorgeous people. I am being basic and sipping on some warm lemon water with mineral salt, loving it though, basic things are popular for a reason ;)
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and scribble down an idea, topic, or theory that I want to discuss. Sometimes those notes make zero sense and I am frustrated for not remembering what I meant, but last night I wrote down “the craziness of having no direction”.
I was thinking about how as we get older, life feels like it goes by so much faster. A big reason for that (I believe) is because as we get older, there is less direction in life. It is up to US to choose our direction, and the options are limitless. As humans we crave comfort and simplicity, so the more choices we have the more confused we become.
For most of us, our youth was spent going to elementary and middle school, preparing for high school. In high school, we worked hard to get into the colleges we wanted. In college, we worked hard to get the jobs we wanted. There was a path carved out for us. There was a next step.
For me - I began to realize after college that everything I had been spending every second working hard for was following this path of status quo that I wasn’t even sure I wanted. I had no regrets, and I was extremely grateful, because I would not have come to this realization without the path I had gone on. But, now that that path had come to an end, the next step was in my own hands.
Do I play it ‘safe’? Do I take a risk? It felt overwhelming. I felt like almost weekly I was having a “quarter-life crisis”. I put SO much pressure on myself to make the “right” choice.
I found myself wishing for a sign or a signal to tell me I am on the right path. Because who really knows??? WE decide our path. WE define our future. That power is fricken scary to think about.
This is the weirdness of being in our 20s (and BEYOND). The feeling of being “lost”. The majority of our life we were told what to do and what was next, and now it’s all up to us. That is why we can feel this overwhelming urge to find ourselves and figure out what is right for us. & for the majority of us, we either don’t know or we change our mind daily!
I am here to say that is OKAY. That is LIFE. That’s the beauty of it. There are a few practices and mindset shifts that have really helped me with this, so I wanted to share.
You can PIVOT. Release that pressure that the choice you make NOW is the end all be all. It does not have to be. Look at each experience as an opportunity to learn. Just because you took a job and it wasn’t for you, that doesn’t mean it was wasted time, think about what you learned from that experience instead. If anything, you learned that this type of job is not for you and it is just bringing you closer to what is. Without trying something, you will never know if it works. What is the worst that can happen?
Growth Mindset. Expanding from above, instead of looking at past experiences as failures, look at them as learning opportunities. Each challenge can be used to grow as a person, develop your skills, and learn more about yourself.
Abundance Mindset. Stop comparing your path to someone else's. You are not “falling behind”. There is no such thing. Each person’s journey is entirely different to yours based on billions of different factors. There is no rush, slow down and believe that things will happen as they are supposed to if you focus on your unique self. *I love this video to remind me of that*
Define your Values. We put so much pressure on finding our “one passion” but you do not need to have ONE passion, you can have many throughout your life as you grow more into yourself! However, something that can help guide you to your passions and make the “right” decisions is defining what your values are. Write them out, and act and make choices with those values in mind.
Envision, Believe, Manifest. If you do have a goal of what your dream life is, take time to envision what that looks like. Write that down. Believe that it will happen to you. Then, work backwards. What is one thing you can do TODAY to get you closer to that dream? Make choices and decisions as if you have achieved that dream.
Energy Givers vs. Energy Takers. Each day, write down what gave you energy and what drained your energy. Make this a daily practice. Every next day, act with these in mind and try to do more things that give you energy and less of the things that drain you.
Journaling. For all of the above, journaling really helps to get your thoughts down on paper. Thoughts are often what are mentally blocking us from moving forward, and writing everything out is so helpful in moving forward mentally and physically.
Also - read the book The Four Agreements! Love this book so much. Remember to slow down, that there is no rush. Enjoy the present moment.
Stop wasting time worrying about what you have not done, and instead be excited for all the untouched opportunities you have left.
Practice/ Journal Prompt this week
Define your key values
At the end of the day, write out energy givers vs. drainers
Ask the people close to you for three things they love about you. Write these things down
Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T
R is for Reading
Health Reading: The Circadian Code by Satchin Panda. Been loving this, did a summarized version of the key points I have learned below.
For Fun: IN A SLUMP right now. Would love to hear what you are currently reading. Love anything mystery, psychological thriller, page turners or open to hear what your favs are. Need something to get me back into it. Some of my past favorites have been: The Silent Patient, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Love and Other Words, Daisy Jones & The Six, The Housemaid, Verity.
PS… Book Club anyone?
E is for Eating
Cinnamon spice and everything nice. I have been reaaalllyy leaning into warming and grounding spices. Cinnamon, cardamom, ginger, turmeric, cloves, nutmeg, fennel… gimme it all. In herbal teas, in bevs, on desserts or cooking with. Just a heavy hand on the spice.
(D) I gotta add drinking in here too bc beverage GURL. Been loving my Superhero latte without the coffee: raw milk, 2 egg yolks, vanilla, maple syrup. It tastes like drinking vanilla ice cream. It is heaven. + you get those minerals, vitamins, protein, enzymes, probiotics and nutrients. & wow I truly feel like a superhuman after. So much energy.
P is for Prioritizing
Prioritizing a slow morning at least once a week. A slow morning for me is waking up 1-2 hours earlier than I normally do to give myself the quiet, slow and peaceful time to myself. I notice that when I wake up later I will have this feeling of stress or rush that I need to jump straight into work and start getting stuff done. This mindset carries throughout the day and makes me feel like I am constantly trying to “catch up” *queue that scarcity mindset*.
Instead, giving myself extra time in the morning to move slow and do whatever I want to do (can be anything from a lengthy wellness routine, to reading in bed, a walk on the beach, stretching, meditation, journaling, all the above) starts my day on such a beautiful note. This sets me up for a wonderful and successful day. It is less intimidating than waking up every day super early, it is only once a week, and you FEEL the difference.
O is for Obsessing over
These lil lights behind my couch. They were so easy to put up and just add such a nice ambiance. I am all about the ambient lighting vibes vs. harsh overhead lights - you will always catch me cooking in the dark vs. turning on overhead lights… these are so fun too because they change to whatever color you want and connect to your phone! You can find them HERE.
Also… adulthood is realizing lamps are so expensive. Goal is one day to have beautiful ambient lighting in every room.
R is for Recommending
A good air purifier. Air purifiers are a key to minimizing toxin load in my apartment space. They filter out harmful airborne toxins, viruses, pollutants, mold, pathogens, dust and more from the air to create a clean breathable environment. Especially living in LA this has been extremely necessary because the SMOG is so so bad. It has made such a big difference on my allergies, stuffiness, sleep and overall well being. In my opinion it is very worth the investment for your health! My favorite one is HERE.
T is for Treating
I have been working on making my home more of a lil sanctuary and slowly adding in things that give it that comforting warm feeling. One thing I have recently treated myself to that I’ve been loving is this essential oil diffuser. I got some nice oils to put in it: rosemary, vanilla, lavender, lemon, peppermint. Sometimes I mix sometimes I switch off but the rosemary vanilla combo is my favorite. Makes it smell like freshly baked focaccia with a hint of sweetness and it is lovely.
Thank you for reading and being here. Love love love you all and am grateful for you, your love and support. I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter, would love to hear from you in the comments + can’t wait to chat with you on Sunday!
Yes pls on the book club
This was amazing!