The feeling of being absolutely exhausted yet completely restless when you get into bed is unfortunately a feeling much too familiar to me. My brain doesn’t know the difference between having an anxious thought and being chased by a lion. So tired yet tossing and turning, heart palpitating, mind racing, I have been there many times.
I’ve dealt with insomnia issues from a young age. I don’t know if it’s the oldest child in me or just being a woman or what but the chronic anxiety and fight-or-flight state is deeply rooted in me. I have always been incredibly envious of the people who can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.
Side Bar: I do not label myself this way anymore, I actually find identifying myself as someone who can fall asleep easily and does have a regulated nervous system allows me to better manifest that for myself (woo-woo maybe? but it works) the more we say we ARE something the more we subconsciously follow habits that become that identify, and it’s the same for negative labels.
At the same, sleep is sooooo important to me. Like I am not one of those people who can wake up with energy after a 5 hour sleep and function normally, it really affects me. So I have spent a lot of my time the past few years on nervous system regulation and sleep health.
Sleep health is so important and when people are struggling with their health the first thing I am curious about is how they are sleeping, and most of the time it’s not well. Although we are at rest and our consciousness has gone to sleep, our entire system goes to work, our body completely repairs, regenerates and heals.
Our brain goes over everything that happened throughout the day and sorts out what is important, logs short term and long term memories. It clears out the junk and removes toxic waste in our brain. Cells go to work, communicating and reorganizing themselves efficiently. Our body goes to work repairing damaged cells. It detoxes toxic waste. One of my favorite examples is that there are cells that go through the gut lining and scan for tears or leaks, and go in and repair them while we are asleep, add a new mucosal protectant lining. Without sleep, our body deteriorates.
One of the top things that has improved my sleep is a consistent wind down routine. Giving myself slow time in the evening to really prepare for a good nights rest. I don’t have rules, and I am not perfect, so this is not my every night but I wish that it was. There are evenings where I stay up late working on my computer or watching TV, scrolling on my phone (always the worst nights sleep follow a doomscroll), but my ideal evening, & when I get the best sleep, is when I wind down this way….
My Ideal Wind Down Routine
1. Start in the Morning
There are a few habits in the morning/day that allow for a better nights sleep for me:
This has been way harder for me in the freezing cold winter, but it really does work. Getting sunlight in my eyes when I wake up (& rising with the sun in general). This helps to reset our circadian clock in the morning. Sunlight first optimizes the body's natural cortisol releasing process to enhance our energy throughout the day, improve mood, AND get better sleep at night. Also getting protein/nourishing breakfast in the morning is another way to start that circadian clock.
No caffeine past 12. The amount of times I’ve tried to justify this…..to no avail and a restless nights sleep. My body is super sensitive to caffeine, and as someone who absolutely loves caffeine it’s a tough pill to swallow. I did genetic testing a while ago and the half life for caffeine in my body is almost double the normal person, so it takes a long time to leave my system which interrupts proper melatonin release.
I’ve also found circadian eating to be really helpful, but this is one I am super bad at following because I love a late night sweet treat lol. But when I eat my last large meal a few hours before bed, it allows for proper digestion so digestion isn’t interrupting sleep. I always sleep better this way (everyone is different though). & same goes for my liquids—for whatever reason I love to have huge cups of tea right before bed and then I am getting up to pee all throughout the night, so I try to have my last big bev an hour or two before sleep.
2. Lighting
My favorite and most important part of my evening wind down routine…the lighting. When the sun goes down, the vibe lights come on, and in this case the vibe lights are circadian friendly light*.
Blue light + fluorescent light are some of the most sleep-inhibiting things. They block out the production of melatonin so it makes it much harder to fall asleep at night.
Red light on the other hand helps to block out blue light, and optimize melatonin production to help us sleep better. At night I try to turn on only my red lights and light candles before bed (or my soft yellow lights). If I need to be on screens, blue light blocking glasses are super helpful. I also love my red light reading clip. I even have red light motion sensor lights in my bathroom for when I get up to go so it doesn’t interrupt my sleep.
I think I have done this lighting for so long now too that it’s like I have pavlov’d myself into knowing its cozy time, time to wind down and relax. I fall asleep easier, sleep deeper, and wake up more refreshed.
*Boncharge Discount Code is “ELLA15”
3. Wind-Down Bevs
Like I mentioned before, I try not to have a lot of bevs right before bed, so ideally I have these 1-2 hours before bed during my wind down.
First is chamomile tea with milk + collagen (sometimes I zhuzh it up and add spices or more herbs but the base stays the same), this is soooo soothing and nourishing and so good for winding down. Secondly, I love having my magnesium. If you don’t wanna drink magnesium I also love a good spray on my feet. Both of these are wonderful for regulating the nervous system and entering that rest & digest state.
4. Log-Off
As soon as I start winding down, I put my phone facedown in another room. My phone does not enter my bedroom in the evening! I don’t have a TV in my bedroom! I think this is sooo so important. I also never have sound on my phone and it’s on do not disturb always. But keeping my phone out of my bedroom is key. When its plugged in, it’s not touched again until the next day. Disconnecting from external noise is key for me to properly wind down.
5. Hot Shower
A steaming hot shower to wash away the day and enter into a wind down state is the best feeling ever. Hot showers are relaxing, and they also improve circulation which can make it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. I always shower in red light or candlelight to make it even more soothing.
I also love a therapeutic skincare routine in my fluffy warm robe afterwards (skincare under red light is the best).
Extra bonus is when I use my 528HZ sound machine, listening to this at night while winding down & while in the shower is heavenly. 528HZ is known to improve sleep, increase relaxation, lower anxiety, decrease tension and promote a calm & meditative state for a deeper nights sleep.
6. Foot Care
I really never know what else to call this, but our feet are so important. We are on them all day long, they work so hard and the bottoms of our feet contain tons of nerve endings that connect to the rest of our body.
I love rolling out my feet with a therapy ball before bed or just doing a manual massage, and then I will do legs up the wall which improves circulation and helps to regulate our nervous system, and sometimes wear my yoga toes.
I also love putting on wool socks during my wind down routine (after spraying with some magnesium), keeping our feet warm is great for regulating overall body temperature, increases blood flow and circulation which can help promote relaxation and deeper sleep.
5. Low-Stimulation Activities
My favorite thing to do before bed is read in bed, I like to get super cozy and read whatever book I am reading at that time. I prefer to read more non-fiction or “boring” or lower stimulation books, because I find my psychological thrillers usually just keep me up because I wanna keep reading lol.
If not reading, other activities like journaling, drawing, coloring, crocheting/knitting are also really calming for my brain.
6. The Bedroom Setting
First and foremost especially during the winter I love having my windows open before I go to bed to let in fresh & cool air, this helps me sleep soooo much better. I also always have a air purifier running in my room, and during the winter a humidifier.
The other thing is putting on my sleep mask before going to bed. A sleep mask is life-changing even if it doesn’t stay on for the night it blocks out all light which is great for me because living in New York there is always different sorts of light shining through my windows. A weighted sleep mask is even better for me, but I have to cycle in and out with this because I feel like it messes with my eye nerves. Having complete blackout while falling asleep is really helpful for me. I also like listening to some brown or white noise in the background to help neutralize sounds.
I love mouth taping too but I am not as consistent with this especially during winter because my lips have been way too chapped.
& lastly, my sheets make the biggest difference in my sleep. Whenever I sleep somewhere else it’s just not the sameeee. I am obsessed with 100% linen sheets I will rave about it all day long because when I switched my sleep changed for the better. Linen is amazing it’s a high vibrational fabric, which can promote healing, relaxation and positive energy flow. It is also naturally antibacterial, hypoallergenic, breathable, and temperature regulating. I also always wash my sheets, and all my laundry, with clean detergent* (I can’t stand fragrance and sleep is where our bodies heal so I don’t want my sheets to be soaked in toxins) and then I love using wool dryer balls to make them extra soft. *Branch Basics discount code is “glowwithella”
7. Sunrise Alarm
I first got a sunrise alarm when I made the habit of not sleeping with my phone in my room anymore, I knew I didn’t want to use my phone as an alarm clock because I hate looking at it first thing in the morning, I like to avoid it for the first 30 minutes to an hour of my rise. Now I can’t live without my Sunrise Alarm.
This has been a gameee changer to me for a few reasons—the first being I no longer wake up in a shocked fight or flight state to the loud aggressive blaring of my phone alarm (my version of hell), instead I am woken softly with light and the sounds of chirping birds or wind chimes, much more peaceful. I also like it because I can use it as a noise machine, but most of all so I don’t rely on my phone for my alarm.
Okay now I am so excited for my wind down routine tonight! I love sleep and getting cozzyyyyy. Just like we have slow mornings, slow evenings are also sooo key, especially for my friends who are so sensitive to sleep!
I also think we need to change the narrative around sleep. For some reason we are shamed into thinking rest + sleep is unproductive and lazy when sleep is one of the most productive things we can do for our bodies! Rest is essential to have optimal creativity, joy, performance, and presence during the times we are awake!
Let me know if you have any questions! I linked everything I talked about here in my ShopMy page, some are affiliate links some are not. But the most important things in this routine are free. I would love to hear what has helped you most with your sleep.
I also do wanna do a deeper dive into nervous system regulation as well, I feel like these go hand in hand. So let me know if you have any questions about that as well!
& with that, sweet dreams tonight! XO - Ella
Foot care is so overlooked, so we love to see it on this list - we find there are certain areas of the body that are harder to relax, and this is one of them. Low-stimulation activities is another great reminder, as well as logging off (which is, we find, a constant battle). Amazing tips!
I love this!!! We’re pretty similar on the night time routine- i loved how you outlined it, still need to try mouthtape!