Hi friends, I hope you are taking care of yourselves today. Doing things to nourish your body, and finding little bursts of gratitude. I am grateful for this community today (and every day). I spent a lot of time today outside and reading — one of the books being our bookclub book, Atomic habits.
By this coming Sunday, we should all have read chapter 4-10. I just wrapped up this section and wanted to share my biggest takeaways from each chapter. Whether you're in the book club or just following along, I hope you find these reflections helpful!
Chapter 4: The Man Who Didn’t Look Right
Our brain is a prediction machine: without consciously knowing it we are analyzing and logging into, and with practice can pick up on cues that predict certain outcomes.
First process of behavior change is awareness. You have to get a handle on current habits before effectively building new ones.
The more auto a behavior becomes, the less likely we are to think about it, and we begin to overlook things. This can cause failures due to the lack of self awareness.
Actively voicing out loud or Pointing-and-Calling can help us become more aware. Literally say what you’re doing as you do it (ex., “I’m scrolling on my phone now”), which helps bring unconscious actions to light.
Sat the action you are thinking of taking and what the outcome will be, hearing bad habits spoken aloud makes consequences seem more real — same goes with good
Habit scorecard activity: make a list of daily habits , look at each behavior and ask if it is a good bad or neutral habit (+, -, =) This exercise helps pinpoint which habits are helping or hurting your progress.
Actually no good or bad habits, only effective ones, effective at solving problems. But each habit has a purpose even if “bad” — that’s why they are repeated. Go about awareness with habits with curiosity vs. judgement.
Ask: “Does this behavior help me become the person I wish to be?”
Chapter 5: The Best Way to Start a New Habit
Implementation Intentions are the most effective way to stick to our goals. Set specific plans for your habits (I will (BEHAVIOR) at (TIME) in (LOCATION). The more specific, the more likelihood to follow through.
Habit Stacking is a way to improve and add new habits by tying desired behavior into something that we already do each day. (ex., After I turn off my alarm, I will make my bed”).
Write down habits you do every day / all of the things that happen to you without fail, and use these to leverage into new positive habits.
Chapter 6: Motivation Is Overrated; Environment Often Matters More
Behavior is a function of the Person in their Environment B = f(P,E)
Finding a new environment to build a new habit makes it easier because it is not associated with a different habit / cue, rather than relying on willpower, create an environment where your good habits are obvious and easy to follow.
Create contextual cues — Change how you set up your environment to encourage better habits. Make cues for good habits (like a yoga mat to stretch on) visible and cues for bad habits (like TV remote) invisible.
Redesign your space, we did this all the time ask kids, why’d we stop in adulthood??? Allocate specific spaces for different activities. For example, if you want to read more, create a designated reading spot with everything you need close by.
Chapter 7: The Secret to Self-Control
As we need to make a good cue for a habit obvious, we also need to make cues for bad habits invisible
It is easier to avoid temptation than to resist it, because it is difficult to rely soley on self control especially in times of stress and pressure.
The best way to avoid a bad habit is to remove the cues that prompt it. Instead of trying to resist a bad habit, reduce your exposure to it.
Removing cues is a long term strategy, where as self-control is short-term
Chapter 8: How to Make a Habit Irresistible
Dopamine drives desire, desire drives action. So habits are done much faster when dopamine is triggered.
Habits are a dopamine-driven feedback loop. Every habit forming behavior is associated with higher levels of dopamine — good and bad.
Dopamine is released not only when you experience pleasure, but also when you anticipate it. It is the anticipation of the reward — not the fulfillment o fit — that gets us to take the action.
You are more likely to find a behavior attractive if you get to do one of your favorite things at the same time — temptation bundling. (ex. sometimes I will watch my favorite show while walking on the stair-master or treadmill)
Habit stacking + intention bundling formula:
1. After I (CURRENT HABIT), I will (HABIT I NEED),
2. After (HABIT I NEED), I will (HABIT I WANT).
Ex. If I want to watch reality TV, but need to workout: After I finish work, I will workout for an hour, after I workout for an hour, I will watch an episode of reality TV.
Chapter 9: The Role of Family and Friends in Shaping Your Habits
Whatever habits are normal in our culture are among the most attractive behaviors you will find
We imitate the habits of three groups — the close, the many and the powerful (innate desire to fit in and be a part of a tribe)
One of the best ways to build better habits: join a community where desired behavior is the norm and have something in common with the group.
Chapter 10: How to Find and Fix the Causes of Your Bad Habits
Systematically reframe cues and give it new meaning — shift internal language: repeat over and over.
A craving is a specific manifestation of a deeper underlying motive — usually based on past survival mechanisms.
Habits are modern-day solutions to ancient desires — they latch onto underlying motives of human nature.
Internally change language when doing a difficult good habit, speak out-loud the outcome to make it more attractive — not I have to stretch but It is time to get more flexible and strong so I don’t injure myself in the future. Vis versa when it comes to bad habits.
Our next live discussion is this coming Sunday evening at 5PM PST/8PM EST in the subscriber chat! We'll discuss takeaways, go deeper on any topics, and do a few exercises.
Preparation for Discussion:
Habit scorecard activity: make a list of daily habits , look at each behavior and ask if it is a good bad or neutral habit (+, -, =) This exercise helps pinpoint which habits are helping or hurting your progress.
Write down habits you do every day / all of the things that happen to you without fail, and use these to leverage into new positive habits.
Track the ways you used habit stacking this week
Do an Environment Audit:
Take a look at your environment and assess whether it supports your desired habits or cues bad ones. Write down one way you can make your environment better suited for a positive habit or less conducive to a bad habit.
Write down how you pointed-and-called in real life and how it shifted your mindset / actions
Choose a Habit to Start or Strengthen:
Define a small habit you want to incorporate or a larger habit you want to strengthen. Apply the 4 Laws of Behavior Change to this habit: how can you make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying?
Take it easy my loves, I will talk to ya on Sunday! XO - Ella
hi! how do we join the book club im late to the game, but would like to know for next time:)