We have all had those days. Where all we wanna do when we wake up is lay back down in bed. For me, these days happen when I feel overwhelmed. A ton is building up on my plate and I start spiraling.
All of a sudden I just wanna ditch everything and run away. BUT I am not Forrest Gump and I cannot just run across America to escape my own mind. So I wanted to share a few practices that have helped me get out of a FUNK.
1. Slow Down (to Speed Up)
When I am overwhelmed and start to spiral, a big reason is because I feel like I have so much to do but not enough time in the day. This is typically my first mistake, because I am operating from a scarcity mindset. In my mind time is scarce and that becomes my reality. With a scarcity mindset, my brain subconsciously shuts off to all the potential opportunity there is out there.
Instead, shifting my mindset to having an abundance of time helps reframe my day. I am not falling behind, I am not running out of time. This helps me slow down and put one foot in front of the other. Operating from an abundance of time mindset versus scarcity actually helps me get much more done, much more effectively.
When the stress is high and it seems like there are a million things on your plate: One. Foot. In. Front. Of. The. Other. We have options in life, to look at the whole picture and become overwhelmed with it all and not do anything, OR, just do one thing. Then one more. Simplify it. Sometimes overcomplicating ends up leading to no action. Control what you can control to the best of your abilities, and the rest will fall into place.
Slowing down also helps me to take a step back and see a situation much more clearly. Instead of stressing out and living in the future of uncontrollables, I am able to come back to the present and be grateful for the moment.
2. Controllables vs. Uncontrollables
I am a bit of a control freak…just a biiiiiit (Cooper does call me “micro” as in micromanager when we are cooking together…WORKING ON IT! I’m an older sibling okay!)
Excuses aside, I have always been one to get anxious or spiral when I don’t have control over a situation *whichhhh I don’t have control over things 99% of the time so this can be quite exhausting lol*. This is something I have been actively working on, and the first step is awareness. Most of the things that we are stressed about, are things we can’t control the outcome of in the first place. What does that stress mean though? It means we CARE. That is all it truly means! That in itself is something to be grateful for.
Instead of stressing about what I do not have control over, I will remind myself about how grateful I am for the thing, and I will reassess what I do have control over. One - the effort I put in (I can try my best). Two - my reaction and attitude throughout and after (maintain positivity and gratitude!). Another example: One - I do not have control over the way someone treats me. Two - I have control over my reaction, my feelings and how I subsequently treat others.
Another trait that comes from being a control freak is most of us are also overthinkers. I overthink A LOT, which is another factor that leads to that spiraling. So with this overthinking I am constantly building up situations in my mind to be way bigger and scarier than they actually are. Reframing controllables and uncontrollables helps me to come back to the present and do what I can NOW to the best of my ability instead of spiraling over an outcome in the future, or something that already happened in the past, I have no control over.
I also think of my situations from a third party perspective. If my best friend was going through this, what advice would I give them? How would I view their situation? If I detach myself from the uncontrollable outcome… the process becomes much more enjoyable. Or a cliche way to say all that, “Enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination!”
3. Turn on music and take a HOT shower.
Something about turning on my favorite music and taking a shower just feels like a fresh start in a weird way. Gets me out of my mind and helps me to decompress and take a step back to recenter myself. A hot bubble bath works too :)
Also, a few nervous system regulating exercises I love:
Breathwork
Humming
Tapping my body
Red light therapy
Feet up the wall
Deep stretching
Walking
Facial ice bath
4. Deep clean
I really do believe that our space is a reflection of our mind. For me at least this is true. When I have a cluttered space, I do not work as effectively. I am distracted.
By reorganizing and cleaning my space, I feel it helps to provide my mind with better clarity, concentration and focus.
5. Call (or hang with) a friend / family member
Catching up with people I care about and hearing about their lives helps me get out of my head. My favorite thing is calling someone up and going outside and going for a walk. Walking while talking with a friend is the best form of therapy.
Within this, helping others is a very valuable tool. We can come very self absorbed in our own problems when we are feeling low, and popping out of that bubble to do things for other people really helps reframe our perspectives on life.
6. Choose Comfort
Sometimes all I really need is an R&R, comfort day. I make my favorite comfort food (grilled cheese and tomato soup), turn on my favorite comfort show or curl up with a book.
I am often going going going with no end in sight and allowing myself to have these days to recharge helps me come into the next day with a new sense of perspective, passion, creativity and energy.
7. More Creating, Less Consuming
Scrolling never helps me. It puts me in a darker place than I was prior, even if it feels in the moment like I am getting those short-lasting hits of dopamine.
Some of the things I see on the internet are inspiring, beautiful or funny, but a lot of times I end up seeing something that brings me stress or makes me start playing the comparison game.
Putting the phone down and doing my own creating always makes me feel SO much better even if in the moment it seems like the harder option.
8. Nature. Sunlight. Grounding.
Mother Nature’s medicine. Truly. There is nothing that sitting in the sand on the beach listening to the waves crashing down won’t heal. Putting my feet in the grass or the sand. Just listening to the sounds around me. BREATHING. It is the most simple things in life that bring the most peace.
9. Replace that energy
Sometimes replacing the anxious energy I feel with a workout helps me exert some of that stress so I can think more clearly. Sitting still and trying to fix the problem doesn’t always work for me.
It’s important to note that doing something to exert some of that anxious energy isn’t the same as completely distracting from it in the first place. I think one of the most important things that I do for myself is letting myself feel the emotion. Being curious about my own emotions versus judgemental. Asking myself questions and taking time. I find journaling really helps me to explore my thoughts and understand the root of why I am feeling a certain way.
10. Gratitude
When I am down, listing out all of the things I have to be grateful for helps reframe everything. Down to the most simple. I opened my eyes this morning. My feet are working, my body is working. I can stretch. I can breathe. I can see I can hear. I have a roof over my head. I have a beautiful family. The list goes on. It starts to make me feel like… Wait ? What was I even upset about in the first place ?? My life is amazing!
+ on this note….laugh more. Sometimes the best thing I can do when I am feeling down is make fun of my situation instead of being dramatic and taking things too seriously. Letting go and embracing what is happening to me in a lighter way, just straight up laughing, helps me to embrace the joy of ups and downs in life.
To end in another cliche…you can’t see a rainbow without a lil rain ;)
I hope you have a beautiful day my loves and a fun & restful long weekend! I will talk to you soon :) Xo - Ella
I’ve been feeling really down lately due to social media. The hot shower and music thing really does help me reset. I have been debating a lockbox for my phone. The addiction can be real lately. Dooooom scrolling. Then you get depressed about how much time you’ve spent on your phone instead of actually doing productive things for yourself. Thankyou for this article <3